The Wedding Party Disease

The tension rises as they glare at each other frombride with respect, the bridesmaid needs to be taken
behind the bride and groom. Even the preacher noticesdown a notch for her role in this obvious brainwashing
that something is amiss and that there is nothingjob. Yes, he thinks to himself, she is devious and has to
anyone can do. Absolutely no one wants to get in thebe dealt with.
middle of this one. The funny part is, it is a set-up. AsIt is a disease known only as skipastageitis. There is no
the wedding vows are read, the looks that they throwknown cure for Skipastageitis, pronounced Skip A
at one another are as sharp as daggers and could cutStage Itis; you can only treat the symptoms. The
through solid steel. They are..., the best man and thesaddest part about this is that they actually may have
bridesmaid.been made for each other but because of this
One of the oldest tricks in the book is to take two ofdreaded disease, they will never know about it. The
your closest friends and insert them into the best manillness is brought on by placing the subjects into
and bridesmaid positions at your wedding in the hopespositions where they are immediately at odds with one
that they will hook up. The overall plan is that they fallanother over every little thing. This is the third stage of
in love and marry. This way they can buy the housea marriage and since they skipped stages one and
next to yours and go out to sushi with you on Fridaytwo, the body is unable to form a bond to the other,
nights. While the intentions of this plan are pure enough,causing mild animosity and paranoia.
it hardly ever works out.Fortunately, there is hope on the horizon as new
The reason this clever little ploy never works out is thetechniques are being developed by leading wedding
positions held within the wedding party. These twoplanners across the planet. In one very promising study,
otherwise wonderful friends are on opposing forcesthe two subject, best man and bridesmaid, are put into
that drives a wedge between them. It then becomesa room filled with foam weapons. After several
an illness that has no cure. There are symptoms thatminutes of avoiding each other, the heat in the room is
give it away quickly.turned up to an uncomfortable level. The subjects
The bridesmaid sees the best man as the one who isbegin to pummel each other with the nerf weapons.
helping the groom take her friend away from her.After a half an hour, the temperature in the room is
While she and the bride are discussing whether to getturned down to an more uncomfortable level, causing
the spring wedding favors or the garden weddingthe bridesmaid to become very cold and start
favors, the bridesmaid is wondering who she will find toshivering. This releases a natural chemical in the best
go cruising the singles bars with. She knows sheman's body that did not have time to develop earlier in
cannot get mad at the groom, it is forbidden. The besttheir relationship. The chemical, known as chivalry X,
man, on the other hand, is fair game and she is readybrings out the protective and nurturing side of him as
to play.he gives her his jacket and tries to keep her warm.
While the best man and the groom are looking at theWhile the treatment shows promise, the effects are
tuxedo catalog, he is trying to remember which of histemporary and the disease begins to assert itself the
other friends plays golf and has best friend potential.moment they are released from the study.
While he is happy for his friend and treats the new